"What now, You're gone. My fault, I'm sorry."-Craig David

I guess it is supposed to be a nice 44th month anniversary but yours truely screwed it.

"I know the kinda attention you sub consciously thrive dor, and I don't mind giving it to you...But sometimes, it is too much for me to take..."

I don't know what's wrong with me but I know my pride is strong enough to prevent me from giving in and breaking down to tears.
Unlike my girlfriends who can't stand a single miscommunication and must talk it out, I on the other hand, won't die without talking.

I don't always start being really angry or piss but the inability to cheer me up turns me one monster. (I understand that it is not easy to cheer me up either cos' my pride is strong.) And all I need is just a small,small trigger point to start the whole drama.
*Shrugs*

Without peeling to my inner world, I feel indifferent.
But believe me, I am really only angry if I choose to shout or retaliate back. By keeping mum, I am only unhappy and I know it's my fault though.

The mistake (in this relationship) is I believe Jason loves me more and makes me love myself more.Sometimes this leads me to a state of confusion & a sense of fear when I really wanna think about this relationship.

"I know I am testing your patience but part of me enjoys it..."

Yes, I do enjoy and taking his patience whenever I threw a tantrum for granted and that is death penalty eventually.
Should he finds a gal who will appreciate him better than I do, what right do I have to stop him(from leaving this relationship)?
*Shrugs*

I don't know,man. Sometimes I think I deserve a slap but I love myself better than to let any guy to abuse me physically.

For all the years that I’ve known you baby
I can’t figure out the reason why lately you’ve been acting so cold (didn’t you say)
if there’s a problem we should work it out
so why you giving me the cold shoulder now
like you don’t want to talk to me girl (tell me)
okay I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
but why you making this thing drag on so long (I wanna know)
I’m sick and tired of this silly game
don’t think that I’m the only one here to blame
it’s not me who’s been going round slamming doors

That’s when you turned and said to me

I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong

I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down

what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry

feeling like a fool cos I let you down

now it’s too late to turn it around

I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry

I guess this time it really is goodbye

you made it clear when you said

I just don’t love you no more

I know that I’ve made a few mistakes

but never thought things would turn out this way

doesn’t make sense to me now that you’re gone (I see it all so clearly)

me at the door with you in a state

giving my reasons but as you look away

I can see a tear roll down your face

Those simple words hit so hard

they turned my whole world upside down

girl you caught me completely off guard

on that night you said to me

I just don’t love you no more

When that day comes, I will clearly remember that it would be my fault...maybe.